The Light Bearer —
Strawberry Friend —
@strawberry
i think there’s something wrong with me. all the other strawberries my age have already turned red
@banana_nana
have u seen someone about it?
@strawberry
i talked to my doctor but all she said was that i was fine and that no matter what all fruits ripen for love.
@banana_nana
u should see a new doctor.
@strawberry
y?
@banana_nana
because I’m an asexual banana.
I gotta go though. chin up, strawbear. There’s nothing wrong with u not being red yet. don’t overthink it and just go with the flow. I’m sure you’ll meet someone who won’t care about that.
@strawberry
if you say so. talk soon.
@banana_nana left the chat.
It’s true, there’s nothing wrong with not being red yet. But, what if I never turn red? The words of her first and only ex-boyfriend ring in her head.
“This is done.”
That day, Strawberry had not been able to voice the betrayal she felt.
“We’ve been together for half a year and you haven’t turned red. I thought I could make you change but I can’t do this anymore. I don’t even know if you love me!”
“What? That’s not true, I do! I…”
“Then why are you still white?!”
“I… I don’t know!… I guess I just need time?”
“Well… I’m done wasting mine. You’re a nice girl and all Strawberry, but you’re weird… and honestly I can’t be with you when you’re like that. It’s embarrassing. I’d rather we stay friends.”
“Friends?! Tch…” Strawberry erases the memory lingering in the air.
New Message.
@Pineapple
record store at 1?
@Strawberry
sounds good!
She grabs her sling bag from the door handle and heads to the record store.
“What kind of friend abandons you just because you’re not red?” She mumbles her way down the street.
It had been three years since that day, but his words still had a hold on how she saw herself. It’s true. Strawberry had never felt ripe for him. “I would have turned red if you didn’t make me feel like I wasn’t enough. Friends... ha! haha!”
“What’s so funny that has you looking so mad?”
Strawberry’s frown smooths out. Pineapple smiles. The sun is out.
Pineapple is a good friend. Like her, his appearance always seems to bring the worst out of people. “You look prickly and mean. You always look angry and it makes me uncomfortable cause I can never tell how you feel!”
“Wow, what did you say to that?”
“I told her “you could always ask”, but that just made her angrier and she stormed off instead of asking.”
Strawberry often belly laughs when they spend time together.
“What I hate most about being a pineapple is that people feel the only way to know if I’m ripe is to smell me. Complete strangers! That drives me up the wall!”
Recently, Strawberry finds herself thinking about Pineapple a lot. This friendship feels like love. She thinks she must be going crazy. If you were truly in love, you would be turning red, so stop thinking nonsense.
She usually keeps quiet and enjoys Pineapple’s company as it is. But today, it is eighty-five degrees outside. The sun is melting my brain, that’s why.
While Pineapple flips through the records opposite her, she stares intently at him. She likes when he’s not looking, because she gets to take him in doing mundane things from a distance, unbothered. She agrees with herself. Wow, he’s quite good to look at, actually. She takes her time and watches him as he parades his best assets. His hair, his eyes… looking at me. Shit! he’s looking at me! Wait… is it happening? I feel it, I’m ripening! I must be red right now! That’s so embarrassing…
Strawberry takes her bag off her shoulder with haste and pulls out her pocket mirror. The grin on her face turns into a pout when she finds herself staring at a white strawberry.
A cloud passes over the sun.
“Ground control to Major Tom!” Pineapple waves his David Bowie record, elated by the opportunity to make such an obvious joke.
“Hah… that’s funny.”
“Hm… is it?”
“Yea.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Mm. Nothing.” She sighs. “We can head back if you’re done.”
“Ok… let’s go.”
The two of them walk back to Strawberry’s apartment. Pineapple stops at her door.
“We can listen to it some other time if you want.”
“Oh, why? We can do it now.”
“Strawberry, your face is like emotional playdoh. I can tell when you’re not in the mood.”
She sighs. “Sorry, I’m just tired all of the sudden. It must be the heat…”
“It’s okay. We can hangout some other time. I do have something you have to listen to on your own though. It’s a mixtape curated by yours truly.”
“Ah, thanks. I can’t wait to listen!”
“Take your time!” Pineapple runs off “And, don’t think too much!” he almost gets ran over by a cyclist.
Strawberry shuts the door behind her. She lays in her bed in the afternoon sun. What’s wrong with me?
She wiggles across her bedroom floor, grabs the cassette Pineapple gave her and presses play on the player. She sits at her computer and types in the search bar. How does a strawberry know if they’re ripe for love?
She scrolls past a long list of purple links until she reaches a blue one.
Click. Scroll, scroll, scroll.
@tutti-fruitti123
besides the obvious turning red thing, as a strawberry I know I’m ripe because my ears feel hot. My skin prickles and I swell. The air around me feels smooth and it all feels like I’m in a dream.
@mexicanlemonade
this. as a lemon, I’m always yellow on the outside. so, I just focus on how I feel, and if it feels right, then I’m all ripe. Some people think a lemon is a lime that never ripened, but we are NOT the same
@daylimesavings
so what you’re saying is limes can’t ripen
Strawberry thinks of Pineapple. She hears his voice come from the cassette player. “Hey, Strawberry. Hope you like the songs so far? I made this mixtape to tell you that you mean a lot to me.”
Strawberry’s ears perk up. She wiggles closer to the cassette player. “I’ve come to like you a lot. I know that you’re not red, but I wanted to tell you how I feel in case you ever feel the same. If you don’t, it’s okay! I love being your friend either way. Ok… Call me when you feel like it! Hope you like Tina Turner! Ah… shit… it’s… I hope it recorded…”
I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire… The song plays.
Strawberry laughs through her nose. Her ears start to feel warm. Her skin prickles. She feels herself starting to swell just like she did in the record store. She runs to her mirror. Her face once again goes from a smile to a frown.
“I don’t understand!”
She flops into her bed face down.
Ooh, I'm stuck on your heart… I hang on every word you say…
She thinks about tutti-fruitti’s words. That’s how I feel when I’m with him. The computer screen goes dark and Strawberry sees her reflection. So what if I never turn red?
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
When Strawberry opens the door, she sees Pineapple trying to catch his breath. He’s agitated. She cannot bring herself to say a word.
Ooh, you're the best… The music can be heard from her room.
“Oh man… hahaha!” Pineapple looks delirious. His eyes widen. “You already listened to it??”
“Yea.” She smiles.
“Oh… okay… okay.” If he keeps nodding, he might lose his head. “Do you want me to come back? I can come back.”
Strawberry’s cheeks are pastel pink. “No.” She pulls her face down with her palms in shyness but moves closer to him. Pineapple watches her with care. She nestles in his arms. “You make me feel red.”
Pineapple exhales with relief.
“Pineapple…”
“Hm?”
“You smell good.”
They laugh as Pineapple tightens his embrace.
Baby Chicks —
Today at recess, I almost died.
I was reading DragonGO! Numéro 11. But, something in my nose was bothering me. I put my finger in there to find out what it was. It was a big ol’ boogie. I had to get rid of it before someone saw. I’m gunna be five soon. I have a reputation to uphold. I stared down at the page of my favorite book. I’ll just get dad to buy me one, this is a library book after all. No one’s gunna know it’s me. Everybody loves DragonGO! and whoever says they don’t is a liar!
I might get in trouble if I done what I did. But, I didn’t have any tissue on me, so I had to do it. And no one was watching. I made sure to swipe the booger on the most boring page of the book anyway.
That’s when I heard Ismaël shut the playful voices of our camarades “Maîtresse!” I quickly stood up and seriously looked at him because like if Ismaël was gunna tattle I was gunna battle. He pointed at the sky and said “Why is the eagle flying so low?”
A shadow flew over me, and gave me the chills. There was the eagle, blocking the sun with its mighty wings.
Maîtresse Gaudji winked at Ismaël, “It’s looking for little baby chicks to devour.” And then, she turned around without a care and all the other kids started ooh and aahing like it was a good thing to learn. Did she think it was funny?
If my camarades weren’t so clueless, they would see that our little bright yellow school aprons made us look like little bright baby chicks to the eagle that was clouding up the sky.
I got filled up with dread when the eagle made a sudden swooping descent. But, Maîtresse Gaudji, finally did her job right and blew the whistle and it was time to go back to class. I ran as fast as I could to safety. Ah!
I almost didn’t live to see five. I better get dad to buy DragonGO! Numéro 12 stat.
Adwin’s Song —
In the time of deities, monarchs, and oracles, I was a girl.
It was a time when only deities could make meaning out of nothing. They made words, dreams, and songs. I was there.
One day, I sang.
Did you know that it’s possible to get lost and be found all at once? To belong? I was alive when I sang. If anyone worried, I didn’t know. If everyone cursed, I didn’t know. If the whole village whispered, I didn’t know about the jealousy of the gods.
Once, the oracle spoke to me “Sing low, sing ugly. If you don’t, you call forth the gods’ jealousy. Sing low. Better yet, not at all.” My songs went to war with the shadows of the prophecy inside me. I became an empty shell.
Twice, I walked through the forest all the way up to the temple. The third time, I lamented in song in spite of me. Then, I felt good. Then, I kept singing. I was alive after all.
After all, it was an affront to the gods to sing my song at their feet. It was too late to run. The temple warped onto itself into nothingness. The gods summoned me with a vengeful sermon. I met my fate.
“For every song you sing, a fire shall rise out of you and burn you from the inside out for all eternity. You shall heal fully until your burn again.”
The die was cast but the fear and the fire could never stifle me. True hell was living a half life and freedom must come with a price.
I sing on. So sing along with me, with every artist before and after me. We’re alive.